What if the parts of ourselves we want to change are not standing in the way of who we are becoming?
What if they belong to the becoming too?
The Step Beyond invited us into paradox and expanded complexity: the possibility that seemingly contradictory truths can coexist without needing to be resolved into one acceptable answer.
In this Applied Embodiment session, we brought that possibility into our relationship with ourselves.
We each called forward four aspects of who we are: one we love, one that makes us uncomfortable, one we want to develop, and one we would like to change. Rather than examining them separately or deciding which ones should remain, we allowed them to sit together.
Then we listened for what existed at their centre.
What emerged was not an explanation of how the pieces fit. It was the deeper movement to which they already belonged.
Connection. Safety. Warmth. Intuition. Self. Deep attunement.
Each centre was different, yet all revealed something similar: the aspects we appreciate and those we resist are not necessarily pulling us in opposite directions. They may be different expressions of the same unfolding process.
The Replay
Each pair made the practice their own. Some entered through stillness and breath; others through spontaneity and play.
As we shared what emerged, our individual discoveries opened into a collective one: accepting every aspect of ourselves does not prevent change. It gives each part room to evolve.
Eventually, the complexity found a beautifully simple place to land:
It’s all okay.
The Centre Piece Exercise
This exercise, even when repeated, will not always bring forward the same aspects of ourselves or reveal the same centre. Multiple movements are always unfolding within us simultaneously.
Step 1 — Arrive
Take a moment to arrive, with three deep breaths in through the nose, releasing through the mouth. Bring your attention into your body.
Step 2 — Answer the questions
Without analyzing, answer each question with the first sincere response that arises:
- What aspect of yourself do you love?
- What aspect makes you uncomfortable?
- What aspect would you like to develop?
- What aspect would you like to change or tame?
Step 3 — What connects them all
- Hold all four aspects in awareness at once.
- Breathe and notice what exists at their centre, without trying to reconcile them.
- Ask yourself: What holds these aspects together? What larger movement might they belong to?
- Let a word, phrase, image, sensation, or recognition emerge.
- Notice whether viewing the four aspects from this centre changes your relationship with any of them.
Allowing The Becoming
Acceptance does not mean deciding that every behaviour should continue unchanged.
It means recognizing that even an expression we dislike may contain an impulse, sensitivity, need, or capacity that belongs. When we condemn the expression, we risk suppressing the movement underneath it. When we allow ourselves to see it clearly, without making it wrong, we gain the freedom to respond differently while preserving what is true.
The impatient part may be learning to hold space.
The judgmental part may be developing discernment and connection.
The emotional reaction may be revealing where safety or boundaries are needed.
The authoritative voice may contain an emerging capacity for clarity that is still discovering how to express itself with love.
We do not have to control these parts into becoming acceptable. They are already moving. They are not finished expressions of who we are, but participants in who we are becoming.
Perhaps the step beyond is not reached by choosing which parts of ourselves deserve to cross with us.
Perhaps it begins when we realize that all of them are already part of the crossing.
Expanding Capacity
At the beginning of the year, EMC spoke of expanding our capacity. Through the added perspective offered by The Step Beyond, I can see how holding space for the parts we love, as well as those still evolving, allows us to meet our lives with less resistance. It creates more room for transformation to unfold and accelerate.
This is becoming increasingly obvious and tangible.
So the question I want to leave you with is this:
Knowing that the parts of yourself you feel uncomfortable with or would like to change are also participating in the deeper movement at your centre, does it feel easier to hold them with compassion?
To me, it is an inevitable YES.
I find myself needing less and less to justify my own behaviours, even to myself. I observe them closely, recognize my preferences, and explore the discomfort that arises from certain things I do.
But the big improvement is that I no longer judge or shame myself for them. I understand that I do not need to do this for those behaviours to continue evolving.
I can more easily accept that this is where they are at this moment in time, for good reason, and trust that they can continue moving towards greater alignment without the need for negative self-talk.
That is very liberating.